two broken hearts don't heal without help
by encyclopediagallifrey
Summary: "C'mon Sinjin, please?" I practically begged. God, this is what it's got to. Me begging Sinjin, of all people, to find out about what Jade does now we've broken up. / Bade. Mentions of Jandre.


**Disclaimer: Do I own anything I write about? lol no.**

"C'mon Sinjin, please?" I practically begged. God, this is what it's got to. Me begging Sinjin, of all people, to find out about what Jade does now we've broken up. I mean, it's not like she's ever gonna talk to me, and have a civil conversation with me, ever again. I can't even say hello without her snapping at me. But who really blames her? I left her out there, counting, humiliated in front of the rest of the gang. I don't know what I was thinking, it sounds incredibly cliché and movie-like, but letting her go was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made. My life is, for want of a better word, basically empty now. My bed is cold without her presence there and I rarely sleep anymore, it's like the damn cricket again but on a much bigger scale. I get about an hours' sleep a night. What a grand total.

Some of her clothes are still strewn across the room, it hurts to look at them. It really does, but I can't bring myself to move them, to get rid of her scent for good. She always smelled so good, all tropical and lovely. Whenever she came to my RV, it'd always smell tropical for a long time afterwards. I miss that smell. I miss her. I miss her voice, how she'd sing to herself when she was doing something. I miss that. I miss how she'd lay her head in my lap and let me stroke her hair, one of those regular peaceful moments we used to have.

I don't know why I said I wasn't happy with our relationship. I was, I really was. I guess it's because she was being difficult, as always, and I just snapped. I tried to take it back after the game show, but nothing swayed her. She was angry with me and that was that. Nothing would change that. Everything went downhill from there.

See, the odd thing about asking Sinjin to basically stalk her, is that this is exactly how our relationship started. Except it was me stalking her instead of Sinjin. Not 'watching her through her window while she's sleeping' level stalking, just following her around at safe distances, finding out where she likes going and what she likes doing and meeting her there but mainly just watching her there. For instance, I found out she liked starbucks mochas, so I regularly bought her one and left it on her desk for her to find when she went to first lesson. Yeah, it was creepy I guess, but it's not like I'm the creepiest stalker. I never watched through her window as she changed...

I left her notes in her locker, sweet notes, telling her what I loved about her. Telling her how beautiful and flawless she is. She never found out I was the one who wrote those, though I think she suspected me once.

"So, you're saying I get to see Jade more than I usually do? And you won't yell at me?" His zipper was undone again. God, why have I put myself through the torture of talking to this madman?

Oh right, Jade. The love of my life, so far.

"No I won't yell at you, I'm asking you. But 1, don't tell her I asked, and 2, don't make it obvious Sinjin.."

_..._

"Full report sir." Sir? I shook my head a little as Sinjin shoved a large sheaf of papers in my hand. Jeez, what has she been up to? I flicked through the papers quickly without really reading them. I'd read them later, alone. Just in case she's been hanging out with a guy and I end up doing something embarrassing like crying. How I managed to stop myself crying the day we broke up, I don't even know. I never will really.

"Sikowitz sent me to spy on her and Tori's date-" Wait, _what? _"-And two guys hit on them there and they sang an awesome song called Take A Hint which told them to basically...y'know, chiz off. Sikowitz sent me so it was easy to spy then."

"Wait, wait, wait. Jade and _Tori _went on a date?"

"Sikowitz forced them, for the play..."

Oh.

_Panic attack moment over._

"So...um...thanks Sinj." I shoved the sheaf of papers in my bag and walked away. I went into an empty classroom so I could look at the notes Sinjin gave me on what Jade's been up to in privacy. Before I got out the papers however, I paused to reflect on what Sinjin told me.

So Tori and Jade had gone on a forced date, they got hit on by some guys, and they sang a song together. God, I wish I'd been there to see that. Jade's singing voice sends chills down my spine, every time. Mix that with Tori's and I bet that song sounded damn perfect.

I wonder if anyone uploaded it to TheSlap. I bet Tori did...I'm her friend and everything, but how her and Andre have to upload every single one of her performances onto TheSlap just so more people can see her amazingness annoys me. It really does.

_Time to stalk Jade's slap page again._

Just as I was about to get out the papers and read through them, I heard noises outside so I froze.

"C'mon Andre, I thought you were over Jade!" That's Tori's voice...what the hell?

"I was! But now she's single and free and she needs someone to fix her heart considering the emotionless robot-" What the fuck. "-broke it into a million tiny pieces. She needs someone to pick her back up and help her walk again, those feelings, my love for her, it came back to hit me in the face.."

Wait.

What the hell is going on here?

Andre is in love with Jade?

Jealousy flared through me. Suddenly, Andre's song 365 days flicked through my head and I realized that it wasn't for his dog as Tori had said, it was for Jade. My girlfriend at the time. More jealousy. I was sure my face was going red with anger. How _dare _he fall for my girl? I stayed silent and listened to whatever they had to say next.

"I know that Andre but-"

"There's not buts here. I mean...there's the bro code and everything, but it's not like Beck'll care...what does he care about lately? Even before their relationship fell through the cracks we could all see that he didn't care anymore. I don't know what's bothering him, but he's changed. _Our _Beck wouldn't have blurted out in front of everyone that he wasn't happy with their relationship. He'd have waited and talking to Jade in private. He's changed, and none of us want him around anymore. You can't deny it Tori."

Andre said he didn't want me around anymore...okay, that hurt. I felt a tear slip from my eye...I rubbed at my eyes furiously to stop myself from crying.

What does he mean I've changed? I haven't changed...okay, maybe I've been a little more stressed, but I have all those auditions, do you really blame me for getting a little stressed? Has it really got to this? Have I really pushed _everyone _away?

"I know that but-"

"Listen to me Tori. Do you realize the competition going on right now, about who'll get Jade to go out with them first? Hell, Robbie's even going to try asking her out. I _need _to ask her out before someone like Ryder does. I can't just let her date some player, or an abusive man or anything. I love her, I need her, and I want her to be safe. I don't give a chiz what Beck thinks about it okay? He broke her, he pushed us all away, and she needs picking up. I don't care what he thinks anymore."

Well...that really hurt.

I grabbed my bag, shoved open the door to the classroom and stared at the two of them. The both gaped at me, Tori obviously horrified that I'd heard their conversation, Andre just staring at me, probably wondering how much I'd heard.

"Good to know my friends care about me...sorry for being a little stressed. Oh wait, I'm a robot. I don't have feelings at all, remember?" I mumbled quickly before walking away before I burst into tears then and there. I heard Tori calling after me, but I ignored her and kept on walking.

Jade.

I needed to find her.

Now.

Because if what Andre is saying, about guys, and probably some girls, lining up to date her right now. And I can't just let her go. I can't just let her date someone else. I was an arrogant ass, but I assumed that she'd wait for me to come back to her. Arrogant, I know. I never planned on begging for her...I assumed she'd beg for me again, like last time...but, it's different this time. I ended it, she can't do anything...

My footsteps quickened.

I paused outside a music room as I heard soft notes coming from a piano and an angelic voice singing quietly. I recognized that voice. It was my girl, the love of my life, the one I'd come to beg back. Pushing open the door, I stepped inside. The music and singing immediately stopped, and a stony, hurt glare was directed in my direction.

"What are you doing in here Beckett?" Jade asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"I...god. I was an idiot Jade. I was such an idiot. I know how much it must have hurt you when I left you was not how I wanted us to split, though I didn't want us to ever split. It was messy and...god. I'm just...I came to my senses. You deserve so much more than me. So, so much more than me. I never deserved a girl like you. I never deserved you, not once. And I thanked my lucky stars at the end of each day I spent with you that we met, that I'd fell in love with such an amazing, flawless girl who by some lucky coincidence loved me back. I just...I want you back Jade. I love you so damn much."

A look of pain crossed her face, one of pure heartbreak and thought. She stayed silent for a minute, then a single word fell from her lips that shattered my heart even more. "No.."

"No?" My voice cracked in the middle of speaking.

"I can't Beck...I just...I can't."

I fell to my knees in front of her. "Please Jade...please. I can't live without you, I need you. The last week has been hell...Jade, please. I'm an asshole, I'm a dick, I'm whatever else you want to call me, but I love you...I'm your Aladdin and you're my Jasmine remember?"

Tears started to freely fall from her eyes. "You should've thought of that at first, before you said you weren't happy with our relationship. I can't Beck...you don't care about me. You flirt with other girls right in front of me, you purposely make me jealous then moan about it, I can't put myself through the hell that was our relationship again. We were fire and rain...maybe once it worked, it doesn't anymore..." Tears were running down my cheeks now too.

"Please...god please. I'd do anything for you Jade. I'd take a bullet for you if it came to it..."

Without saying another word, Jade got up and left, leaving me alone with my regrets, sobbing in the music room.

_..._

_10 years later._

_..._

"One mocha please." I ordered my usual at starbucks. It's quite strange to think that I've been going to the same starbucks every morning for the last 14 years and yet I've only ever had a mocha from here.

As I waited for my mocha, I glanced around. Nothing about this starbucks had changed. Not the interior, not the atmosphere, not the coffee, not my mood when I come here. I don't know why I torture myself by going here when there's another Starbucks just a few blocks away that I could go instead. This one holds so much history. It's the place where I first asked the only girl I've ever loved out for the first time.

When my mocha came, I turned around and bumped into a girl, splashing my drink all over both of us. I apologized quickly, before looking up into the girl's eyes. I'd recognize those eyes anywhere...

"Jade..."

**a/n: yeah. idk what this is. it started off as an idea I got permission from badeprompts on twitter to use, of Beck getting Sinjin to stalk Jade for him. Uhm...then it turned into this. idek. I don't really want to post this shit but LizGillies_Wow will probably make me sooooo.**

**I haven't wrote for a while, so...if it sucks, I'm really really sorry.**

**I guess i left the ending like that so you can guess what happens from there...I'd love to see some guesses (hint hint;)**

**~Jess xoxoxo**


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